We met two weeks ago and he asked me out. I’m 23 and he’s 24. I can see myself falling in love with him. I know its a short period of time, but i can be myself with him and he makes me so happy. I want to be married and pregnant by age 25, and I can see that with him. He says he loves me, and today for the first time told me he was ‘in love’ with me. I just don’t know if he really means any of this, or if hes just trying to get in my pants. Also, I don’t have a good history of relationships because I tend to go for guys who just want sex. He seems good for me, however, but I am still scared of trusting him too much, even though i do, and getting hurt. What should I do? Thanks, Kelly

Kelly,

I understand your concerns. I receive many similar questions from other women each week.

Instead of worrying about if he’s the right person to help fulfill your marriage and child agenda, if he loves you, or if he just wants sex, I suggest to just relax and enjoy dating and getting to know each other. Then, if things go well, you can decide if he’s someone with whom you want to get more serious. You really don’t know him yet so it’s too early to make plans for the future.

As far as getting hurt goes, this can happen when you wrongly assume he has the same relationship goals as you, or if you use sex as a bargaining chip. Instead, since women generally tend to enjoy sex as much as men, how about having sex (safely, of course) if you are attracted to a guy, you feel ready, and he has shown he respects and likes you, without the expectation that he go along with your long-term love life plans?

In contrast, men have concerns in these situations too. Here’s a version of a common question I get from them:

“Is she really attracted to me and interested in having sex with me or is she just trying to trap me into a traditional marriage, strict, life-long monogamy, then divorce me when she realizes she can’t train me like a pet to do her bidding, force me to pay child support for a child she secretly planned and I didn’t, and pay her alimony (ordered by a court that favors women in divorce) while she hunts for some other meal ticket?”

Which is worse, a man seeking a stimulating connection, treating her nicely, giving her pleasure, then realizing their connection isn’t strong enough for longer term and moving on, leaving her disappointed, or, coaxing or strong-arming a man into marriage, creating a miserable life together, then realizing he’s not what she wants and taking half his assets in a divorce?

Obviously, there are a lot of flaws with the current model of dating, relationships, and marriage.

Sure, rushing into a marriage and having kids and, or doing so at a young age is sometimes just as much of a goal for men as women. It may work out really well for both partners, but more often it doesn’t. The younger or faster you enter such an arrangement, especially if it’s based on secret agendas and romantic fantasies rather than true compatibility and mutual goals, the more likely it will end in disaster.

You can avoid many of the typical love life complications by detaching from your love life goals and focusing on your connection with each possible love interest. Notice how you feel in their presence, and also the energy or feeling he or she gives off. Pay attention to their actions, body language, and feeling behind their words. Also, are you two really compatible beyond a few common interests? Do your priorities in life match? If you don’t know, take no action until you do. Don’t rush into anything. If you step back and pay attention, the true person, what is meant to be between you two, and if it’s in your best interest, will be revealed.

Copyright © 2012 Stephen Petullo

Intuition is helpful in all areas of life, from business and money to family and relationships. Everyone is born with some level of intuition or psychic ability. Some say ability is inherited from family members and claim to be a second or third generation psychic.

It’s my belief, based on years of reincarnation research, that genes and the physical body have less to do with it than if the talent (not gift) of intuition has been developed in past lives. Whatever comes naturally now has been practiced endlessly in prior incarnations.

Unfortunately, we don’t live in a world that embraces or encourages psychic ability and development. Even though the stress and obligations of day to day life work against it, you can develop yours further in just 15 minutes a day. How? Meditation.

Daily meditation will make you more calm and centered, and with practice, allow you to simply “know” the answers to your questions. First thing in the morning, or before relaxing at night are good times for this daily practice. Running, a long walk, art, dancing, sex, or any other activity that you lose yourself in during extended periods of concentration or focus can be a form of meditation if it puts you in an altered state, but a regular ritual of formal meditation will be more effective.

Since we’re all stuck in these physical bodies and what we fuel them with can greatly hurt or help how we feel, you must also pay attention to your diet if you want to be more intuitive and calm. I’m not going to tell you that you must be vegan or vegetarian if you want to be more spiritual and psychic because I don’t believe that. Every body is different and for some, that type of diet will make them feel good. For others, especially over time, they’ll feel weak, unmotivated, and foggy. Experiment and find the foods that work for you, and avoid those that don’t. Be especially careful of all forms of sugar.

Our Let Go MP3 will help you reach a meditative state with little effort: http://www.holisticmakeover.com/LetGo.htm

If you have trouble meditating, here’s an article with helpful tips: http://www.holisticmakeover.com/May27th2005.htm

Here’s one about how to ask for help from God and guides of the Light: http://www.holisticmakeover.com/Feb1st2008.htm

Here’s another we wrote about getting started with spiritual studies: http://www.holisticmakeover.com/Sept302005.htm

Copyright © 2012 Stephen Petullo

My name is Jessica, born (birth data hidden for privacy). The other person is a Taurus born (birth data hidden for privacy). I’m certain we are Twin Flames. We had this connection that was like a magnetic pull and magic from the start. We only had one date and he said it was too intense for him to understand and moved on. I’m stuck with this intuitive, soulful feeling that he thinks of me a lot and misses me, but is afraid to come back. Do you see us reconnecting anytime soon? I’m feeling like a lost a part of me. Please help!

Stephen’s Response:

Hi Jessica

Sorry to read of your sorrow, but I believe it’s largely self-inflicted. Let me explain.

According to the popular New Age definition, twin flames are two souls who are made for each other, two parts of a whole, and if they can just find each other, they’ll be together forever in harmony and romantic love.

Sorry to be a downer, but I think you need to consider this in order to avoid basing your love life on too much illusion: In all my years of past life research and experience as a matchmaker, I’ve never found any evidence of twin flames. In fact, all my findings firmly suggest that it’s an impossible fantasy created by excessively idealistic romantics. You are already whole and don’t need someone else to complete you.

On the other hand, I have found that everyone has many soul mates. Some are much more compatible than others, and some may lead to a more ideal relationship, so don’t lose hope.

I don’t feel he is interested in pursuing this connection, nor do I see you two reconnecting, if you’re asking if he’s going to contact you. You could contact him for closure if you feel it will put your mind at ease. Or you could let go of him completely. If you don’t do either, you’ll continue to torture yourself and you could very well miss other love possibilities.

I realize it’s difficult sometimes to let someone go, especially if they caused a major emotional impact. When you think of him simply tell yourself, like a parent comforting a child, that it’s over and time to move on, feel gratitude for what you learned, and silently wish him the best. If you still think of him often, “cancel, cancel, cancel” the thought of him when it enters your mind. This exercise will not prevent any future (in this life or others) contact between you two, by the way. In fact, in some cases, it may clear the energy and cause the other person to think more positively about you. But one needs to let go before that happens.

I asked Scott to give his input about your connection with this man and why he had such an impact on you. Here’s what he wrote:

Jessica, sorry to hear about your anguish, but sometimes a proverbial splash of cold water can do wonders. Based on the birth data you supplied for both of you, your perception of him is pure fantasy. You can’t help but project your dreams onto him, merely because the unique energy between you two–as seen from your perspective–is so packed with illusion, when in reality it is very toxic. This isn’t your fault, but just what is.

I must ask, did he really use those exact words, that it was “too intense” for him, and are you sure he really implied what you are suggesting, that he felt the same way you did?

My impression is that he doesn’t feel the same way you do, and that he was fine with ending things after one date because he didn’t perceive you two as compatible at all.

But hang in there because you will meet some fantastically compatible lovers soon enough (you’re collective love life timing is very auspicious going forward), and I’d expect you to be seriously, happily involved by two years from now at the latest.

Copyright © 2012 Stephen Petullo

“Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man.” Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic’s Notebook, 1960

“Would you marry a nice person who was worth $250 million dollars, but to whom you were not physically attracted? If you’re doing it for the money, you’re a successful prostitute.” Anonymous

“The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs less.” Brendan Francis, Playboy, 1985

“Obscenity is whatever gives the Judge an erection.” Anonymous

“Sex is natural and every adult has innate sexual needs. Most men, and many women, are comfortable having consensual, safe sex without being in love with the other person, even if it takes a few drinks and encouragement from their friends on a Las Vegas weekend trip.” Anonymous

“Why should we take advice on sex from the pope? If he knows anything about it, he shouldn’t!” George Bernard Shaw

“Playboy exploits sex the way Sports Illustrated exploits sports.” Hugh Hefner

“I think it is funny that we were freer about sexuality in the 4th century B.C. It is a little disconcerting.” Angelina Jolie, interview, Nov. 22, 2004

“A promiscuous person is a person who is getting more sex than you are.” Victor Lownes

Relationship trap #8 from our More Good Dates e-book:

Our findings show that all relationships have destined beginnings and endings. Some are meant to be short-term (even if the couple chooses to stay together as, essentially, roommates), and some are meant to be long-term.

You no longer need to worry about your relationship “failing” or how long it lasts.

Instead, accept that the length of a relationship is irrelevant and what’s more important is what you learn from each other.

Get our free More Good Dates e-book which includes The 77 Biggest On-line Dating Mistakes and much more helpful information for singles and couples here: http://moregooddates.com.

Or get the Kindle version of More Good Dates for $3.99 which includes our Let Go MP3 audio to enhance meditation, sleep, intuition, and sex.

25 years ago, I would have agreed. I naively assumed that in terms of spiritual energy, only God and positive energy, such as angels, existed. But after studying metaphysics for over 25 years, including spirit possession, and performing what I call Spiritual Detox (which is similar to a depossession without the religious and Latin terminology of a Catholic exorcism) on myself and many others, I am convinced dark energy and demons exist.

A recent article http://abcnews.go.com/US/teen-girl-exorcism-squad-arizona-girls-claim-cast/story?id=16074541#.T4AVbI7NqpI describes three teenage girls who have been trained to perform exorcisms. Their approach is more religious than mine, but based on my experience and knowledge of the subject, they do seem to be doing helpful work.

There are a lot of negative comments under the article by people who disagree with exorcisms and, or what these girls are doing. Most of them think possession and exorcisms are not real, the girls are conning people out of money, and, or just repeat what someone told them about how exorcisms are wrong. It’s my view that most of them don’t understand the subject, yet oddly, without doing their own objective research,they express extremely strong opinions on the matter.

The following myths about possession are for those of you who are more objective and want to protect yourself from negative or even demonic energy.

Myth #1: There’s no such thing as dark energy or demons. Some may laugh at the idea of demons, and some (who may be possessed themselves) may angrily doubt their existence. They’re certainly entitled to their opinions, but I urge them to do a little research and even experience or witness an authentic depossession before judging something they know little about.

Myth #2: Dabbling in the occult will cause possession. Just because someone is psychic or perceives the future with helpful tools like tarot cards, astrology, numerology, crystals or others doesn’t mean they are possessed. In fact, the more connected you are to God, the more aware you will become. Negative intent, not the occult by itself, is what causes harm.

On the other hand, playing with a Ouija board or using certain magic rituals or spells, if you don’t know what you’re doing, can cause spirit attachment and possession. It’s always a good idea to do your research before using these tools, immediately reject any negative spirits, and protect yourself by burning sage, visualizing white Light, asking for guidance and protection from God and Angels of the Light, and other methods, and never while under the influence of alcohol or drugs.

Myth #3: She’s not possessed, it’s just the drugs/booze talking. Drug use and excessive alcohol abuse is one of the more common ways people inadvertently allow demons on-board. One telltale sign of possession or entity attachment is a drastic personality change while under the influence. These substances weaken the protective energy around the body and allow dark energy to easily penetrate it. The more out of control an addict becomes, the easier it is for demons to take over.

Myth #4: People who display the traits of possession need therapy with a mental health professional, not a depossession. They may need both or they may need neither. Many mental health experts ridicule the idea of possession. Ironically, they usually know little about the subject, and certain mental illnesses like multiple personality disorder and schizophrenia can be caused by possession. Why not try both approaches for those who seek help?

Myth #5: Depossession or exorcism is dangerous. An authentic depossession or exorcism is not harmful for the subject, yet the practitioner can be in danger if he doesn’t protect himself properly.

Myth #6: A depossession or exorcism should only be performed by a priest. There are many people who are not priests who regularly perform successful depossessions. One of the more successful people in this field is Sue Allen of the UK.

Myth #7: An exorcism or depossession must follow a traditional process that casts out demons. Casting out demons, which can then hurt others, is not as beneficial as calling in Angels of the Light to help escort the troublemakers to the Light.

Myth #8: Possession is always about demons. It’s quite common for someone to die and stick around the Earth plane instead of going to “the Light.” Hospitals, cemeteries, morgues, just to name a few places, are often full of lost souls.

Myth #9: Possession or entity attachment is rare. Many people in this field estimate that up to 50-80% of the population may be influenced by such problematic energies.

Myth #10: If you’re possessed or a lost soul is influencing you, you’d know it. Since the tenets and inner-workings of possession are not common knowledge, most people don’t realize they are possessed or that an entity is on-board. It’s easy to confuse your thoughts with those of a demon or disembodied soul.

Myth #11: If you hear voices they are probably from demons. Positive information received through meditation, praying or other spiritual means usually is not from demons. Negative thoughts or voices suggesting hurtful words or acts can be, but of course can also be the result of stress too.

Myth #12: Possession is something to fear. The subject of demons can be scary, but remember that they’re usually more like bratty children that simply need to be firmly directed to the proper place.

For more information about possession and entity attachment, see my website:  http://www.holisticmakeover.com/SpiritualDetox.htm

Copyright © 2012 Stephen Petullo

My name is “Kris,” female, and currently living in CO. I was born in CO on (birth data withheld for privacy). I’m 5’6″, 135 lbs, long brown hair, dark brown eyes, caucasian. My friend “Mike” is male, currently living in CO, born in CO on (birth data withheld for privacy). He’s about 6′, average build, very short blond hair, blue eyes. We have been friends since early childhood but never romantically involved. Until now, I never thought of him as more than a friend. He’s recently divorced, he asked me out, and we went on a date. My question is: Can we have a successful relationship or should we stay just friends? Thank you so much for your time.

Stephen’s Response:

Hi Kris,

An important component of a successful love relationship is a strong enough physical attraction, which is more about what you feel than see. In fact, for some couples it’s a major part of their bond. Otherwise you’re just companions and roommates and unless you have zero sex drive, you’ll turn to excessive food, drink, or something else for the stimulation you need.

If a mutual physical connection existed between you two, you’d feel it. If it doesn’t, you’re better off remaining friends. I’m sensing you aren’t attracted to him sexually, but that’s for you to determine.

If you pay attention to your heart and intuition, sometimes a potential romantic partner may feel more like a brother, sister, father, mother, boss, or even enemy than a compatible mate. It’s my belief, based on my past life regression research over many years, that this is in part due to how you knew them in past lives. Everyone you know now you’ve known before, which makes dating and relationships even more complicated.

Don’t make the mistake of dating someone with whom you don’t share a mutual physical attraction just because you don’t want to be alone. This will cause you and, or him to miss other, more compatible people.

Be honest with each other and talk about it. If the energy between you two is conducive to a love relationship that includes a great sex life, wonderful. If it’s not, it’s not anyone’s fault. It’s just what is. Everyone you meet is for a different reason, and not always for what you think or hope.

I asked Scott for his input about the connection between you two and here’s what he wrote:

In my work with comprehensive astrology and numerology (along with handwriting analysis–but handwriting samples weren’t supplied for this basic overview analysis), I determine what kind of bond exists between two people. It may be appropriate for business, friendship, a romantic relationship, a fling, paying back karma, karmic rewards, or none of the above.

Please see this article about compatibility and how it’s measurable: http://scottpetullo.com/blog/2011/06/compatibility-it%E2%80%99s-either-there-or-it%E2%80%99s-not-and-it%E2%80%99s-measurable/

Also, please see this article about seven requirements to determine true compatibility: http://scottpetullo.com/blog/2011/06/7-requirements-to-discover-true-compatibility/

Let’s assume that when you say “a successful relationship” you are speaking of the ideal most people desire–a long-term, even life-long, mutually satisfying romantic relationship, including strong physical attraction.

Based on the birth data you offered, there exist three key problems between you and this man in regards to a romantic relationship:

1. His relationship ideals are beyond unreasonable, into the neurotic zone. He’ll never understand that there is no perfection and his expectations make things impossible. He lives to be in love and probably feels his life is meaningless if he’s not continually living the best parts of his favorite romantic comedy. You would, in time, feel as if you are in some sort of “you can’t win” game.
2. The collective long-term timing–for both of you–only supports a short-term relationship, not a long-term (as in several years of bliss) and certainly not a life-long relationship.
3. On a scale of 1-100, if I were to rate this romantic/love life connection between you two (100 being the most rewarding, and 1 being horrible), I’d give it a 20. There are too many differences that would drive a spike between your intimacy, the physical attraction is dosed with cold water, and the level of strife is very high–when push comes to shove and the pleasant happy face persona melts away as it always does when two people really get to know each other, the animosity would be palpable.

You would come to realize that this connection is much better for a friendship (and not the closest of friendships by any means) than a love life relationship.

Copyright © 2012 Stephen Petullo

I have a friend and we are ocean’s apart, I live in New Jersey and he lives in England. We met online and even though we have never met face-to-face, we speak everyday and have become extremely close. I love him very much and I think he has fallen for me. I plan to visit him this summer after we both graduate from our universities. I just want to ask if our love will last forever? Thanks, Anna

Stephen’s Response:

Dear Anna,

I certainly understand why you want this wonderful connection to last for the rest of your life. Spiritually speaking, however, the length of a relationship isn’t really that important. In fact, it’s usually irrelevant. What’s most important is what you learn from the experience.

The idea of a rewarding relationship not enduring isn’t appealing, but it may help to realize that you and the important people in your life will be together again on the other side, and possibly in future lives.

I’ve found that people under the age of 30 tend to focus too much on relationships lasting “forever,” which, to be totally candid, is a fairytale mindset void of reality. The energy of love is forever, living on through reincarnation, but most relationships are not. Life gets easier when you accept this and each relationship for what it is meant to be rather than what it “should” be.

Since you live in different countries and have never met in-person, I caution you to avoid spending too much time interacting before meeting. It’s very easy to get caught up in romantic illusion with someone you meet on-line, and the connection is often quite different face-to-face.

If you two were destined to be together forever, fate would have made it easier to live permanently in the same location. Also, you’re both still quite young; this friendship is likely meant to be more of a bridge than something permanent and I feel that you both are also destined to meet, date, and learn from many others.

This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t continue to enjoy the interaction with your friend, but it’s a good idea to agree not to move beyond the friendship stage unless you meet, spend a lot of time together in the same city, and find that you’re truly compatible.

I realize that my words are not very encouraging, but I’d rather have you consider the reality of your situation instead of fueling possible illusions that could set you up for a major heartache, not to mention the lost time spent interacting.

Copyright © 2012 Stephen Petullo

“I adopted the theory of Reincarnation when I was twenty-six. Religion offered nothing to the point. Even work could not give me complete satisfaction. Work is futile if we cannot utilise the experience we collect in one life in the next. When I discovered Reincarnation it was as if I had found a universal plan I realised that there was a chance to work out my ideas. Time was no longer limited. I was no longer a slave to the hands of the clock. Genius is experience. Some seem to think that it is a gift or talent, but it is the fruit of long experience in many lives. Some are older souls than others, and so they know more. The discovery of Reincarnation put my mind at ease. If you preserve a record of this conversation, write it so that it puts men’s minds at ease. I would like to communicate to others the calmness that the long view of life gives to us.”

Henry Ford rightfully questioned embracing talents as assigned by a higher power. Why did one person and not others receive the gift? Is it a reward to the gifted? A punishment to those who didn’t receive it? Are the gifts randomly handed out?

What I’ve found in many years of past life regression research is that what you are naturally good at is what you’ve practiced many times in many past lives, even for those who don’t believe in reincarnation. Dancing, cooking, parenting, managing, drawing, painting, debating, driving, memorizing, shooting, psychically perceiving, entertaining, writing, care taking, singing, speaking, and even sex. Whatever you excel at, you’ve developed the talent over many lifetimes. So, if you want to know who you were and what you did in past lives, you can find clues in what you’re good at now. Present lives are much more of a mirror for past lives than most people realize.

Copyright © 2012 Stephen Petullo

Although prostitution between consenting adults does exist in Thailand just as it does in the rest of the world, to automatically associate Thailand with sex crimes is a grave injustice to the wonderful country. Additionally, prostitution, per capita, is a much larger industry in countries like Iran and Israel, and it’s debatable whether or not cities such as Los Angeles or New York, for example, have a larger prostitution industry than Bangkok (and if you include matrimonial prostitution, they absolutely do).

As far as prostitution between consenting adults goes, foreign travelers to Thailand (crudely labeled “sex-tourists”- to be fair, shouldn’t bachelorette party travelers to Vegas or women who travel to Miami, Bali, northern Africa, southern Europe, Jamaica, South America, or Thailand and have sensual liaisons be called the same? If you’re going to express bigotry, you may as well not do it selectively.) seem to be a favorite target of Western radical religious and feminist crusaders whose main goal is securing more funding for their organizations. In reality, over 90% of the Thai flesh trade customers are Thai. Hence, what is taking place is an assault on accepted Asian cultural norms by corrupt Western crusaders.

Law enforcement, pressured by politically correct radical religious and feminist lobbying groups with moral superiority complexes, attempt to “help” sex workers with anti-prostitution laws and agendas. They erroneously regard adult sex workers as victims and believe they are “rescuing” the prostitutes. That just makes things worse, say the sex workers.

“Before I was arrested I was working happily, had no debt, and was free to move around the city,” said Nok, a Burmese. “Now I’m in debt, I’m scared most of the time, and it’s not safe to move around. How can they call this ‘help’?”

“The sex worker of today has work tools apart from makeup and condoms,” said Chantawipa Apisuk, who founded Empower in 1985 to safeguard their rights. “They have cell phones and the Internet. Rather than greedy pimps, their support network is centered on a trusted tuk-tuk driver or the local motorcycle-taxi guy who takes them around and protects them.”

“We have now reached a point in history where there are more women in the Thai sex industry being abused by anti-trafficking practices than there are women exploited by traffickers,” said Chantawipa.

“Thai society still looks at sex workers in the old context,” Chantawipa said, “and even the government’s ‘modern’ view of sex workers as victims is outdated. The aim now is to get the government and other concerned parties to stop using the word “victim”, to stop putting trafficking and sex work in the same category.

To be perfectly clear, there is a huge difference between adult sex workers and child prostitution. By all means, prosecute those abusing children. But to lump the two together is disingenuous and unfair.

I’ve been to Thailand and I’ve heard stories of the victims of prostitution. Ironically, victims are rarely the prostitutes, but the clients who fall in love or get taken for a ride. Furthermore, it may surprise most Americans that the rest of the world does not view sex as a religiously sanctioned event, but rather a perfectly natural act between two consenting adults.

“Sex workers, with few exceptions, can walk away if they choose,” said a unidentified Thai man. “The #1 reason for sex worker harassment is Christian aid groups motivated by their western puritanical superiority complexes. I had a Christian group wanting to rent my large house. They were planning to do ‘improvements’ to it – which would have turned it in to a fortress to keep ‘rescued sex workers’ from having visitors and/or breaking out. I said ‘no’ to the house rental proposal.”

Such harassment and violation of personal freedom also exists in the USA. I recall watching TV show a couple years ago in which police officers ran a sting operation to trap prostitutes who advertised their services on-line. Once the woman negotiated a price for a sex act, the police hiding in the hotel room next door would move in and arrest her. They showed one sobbing woman on camera who was being arrested and the police officer was lecturing her about how wrong prostitution is and how this will show on her record for the rest of her life. This is supposed to help these women? Don’t these police officers have real criminals to catch, such as murderers, rapists, and thieves?

From a spiritual perspective, I’ve found through my research of 1000s of past life regressions that most people have lived many past lives. Since prostitution is the oldest profession in this world, if you perceive enough of your past lives, you will undoubtedly find you’ve been on one side or the other of such a transaction (not including matrimonial prostitution, which is far more popular). When I hear people judging prostitutes, I just smile to myself because the more fanatical they are, the more likely it is they’ve done it in past lives, or will in future lives as part of their karma.

Read the article from Thailand’s The Nation here: http://www.nationmultimedia.com/life/Sex-trade-not-traffic-30177322.html.

Copyright © 2012 Stephen Petullo