(Intuitive reading questions to Stephen)“We just got married but I know a month prior to us getting married he slept with another female. We have fought about this. He still keeps in contact with this women via facebook skype email etc, I want him to stop all contact with her.
I love him with all my heart, which is why i married him knowing what i know, i just hoped it was a premarriage fling and we would enjoy a happy life after. but i cant get over this and feel so violated and angry at him. I know if he just deletes her from his life I could get over this. Love is stronger that any one night stand and we are a happy couple otherwise. Is he going to cheat on me during our marriage? Will I be happy in this marriage or should I get out now?”
Stephen’s Earth Plane Answer:
By marrying you, assuming you both agreed to a traditional marriage, he agreed to be strictly monogamous and committed to you and only you the rest of your life. If he’s continuing an emotional affair, that violates the rules of your written and verbal contract.
Will he physically cheat? This is why I recommend avoiding marriage until at least age 30. Strict monogamy is not always realistic for many people, especially when married at a young age. Based on the other information you gave me, I don’t feel this man would be happy being strictly monogamous with one person for the rest of his life, so it depends upon how tight you keep the leash.
Keep in mind that it would be a shame to throw away an otherwise good marriage and compatible partner just because he is comfortable loving or lusting after more than one person at a time.
Stephen’s Spiritual Answer:
Love. Everyone loves differently, love means different things to different people, and every love connection is different. Some people are capable of and even happier loving and, or lusting after more than one person at the same time. Love is stronger than any one night stand? That’s assuming that there is no love connection with any one night stand.
Unconditional love = no expectations, no demands, and accepting another as they are. You say you are a happy couple besides this, so perhaps acceptance on your part would be the simplest solution.
Marriage, too often, implies ownership. That’s not love. You will both be happier with your marriage if you consider each others’ needs and accept each other as you are. Based on the other information you supplied about your husband, he needs more freedom than you. You’ll need to communicate and work with him, without anger, on this issue. It’s also possible that you may subconsciously prefer more freedom, so consider this possibility as well.
Copyright (c) 2010 Stephen Petullo
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